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How Do I Help Someone Hurting?

by Vicar Lisa

I continue to find these beautiful nuggets of wisdom on a woman’s devotional site entitled, Just Between Us. Someone had posed the question, “How Do I Help Someone Hurting?” The response was simple and heartfelt. We can help someone by listening with Heart, asking with Courage, and guiding with Wisdom.

In James 1:19 we learn that we are to be quick to listen and slow to speak.

Theodore Roosevelt said, “Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”

If we want to help someone hurting through their pain, we need to be good listeners. There is healing power in being heard, including not feeling alone, feeling accepted, sorting out issues and feelings, and sharing the burden of pain with hope for a better future.

To LISTEN with HEART:

  • Take a deep breath.
  • Say a quick prayer: “HELP ME, LORD.”
  • Never forget my own hurts and what and who helped me (2 Cor. 1:5).
  • Always remember, I don’t know it all. I don’t even know a little when it comes to another’s’ pain.
  • Remember we all have different paths of pain and recovery.
  • Reassure confidentiality.
  • Ask clarifying questions to draw out their pain and story.
  • Whatever they say, empathize first, without judgment.
  • Be an encourager instead of a fixer.

To ASK with COURAGE: speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15)

  • Listen for understanding, before challenging for self-awareness or growth.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for clarification regarding confusing inconsistencies.
  • Don’t be afraid to challenge untruths (regarding God or relationships). For example, “He always,” We will never,” “God hasn’t really been there for me,” “God can’t accept me with what I have done,” etc.
  • Don’t be afraid to make observations that may be hard to hear. For example, “That sounds like it is abusive,” “It seems like those behaviors would really confuse the children,” “I can see how it would be difficult to be honest about this situation, but it is a courageous first step to a better path.”
  • Although gently holding up the mirror of truth is very difficult, it is what we are called to do when someone cannot see the truth through her pain.

GUIDE with WISDOM:

  • Pray for God to guide your speech.
  • Validate their courage in telling their story.
  • Put my judgmental self in the back seat.
  • Make “matter of fact” observations about what you see in their story.
  • Reassure them, THERE IS A WAY OUT OF THIS.
  • No matter what their pain, remind them about God’s love, presence, guidance, and plan.
  • Encourage them to seek healthy, consistent, balanced, support networks.
  • Realize that you may be the only “Jesus” they can see through their pain, so you need to be the loving, truth-telling, confident Jesus’ girl that she needs.

Ultimately, helping someone hurting can be summed up in Micah 6:8, “And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.”

18th Sunday after Pentecost, Oct. 1, 2023

10 a.m. Worship with Holy Communion

Announcements

  • 5-Loaves Help Wanted: 30 is our next 5-Loaves lunch distribution. If you can help with meal preparation and/or deliveries next Saturday morning, please let Norine Hazen or Jo Moss know.
  • 1 Potluck: We will have our monthly potluck on Sunday October 1, please bring a dish to share!
  • Adult Learning: At 11:30 a.m. this Sunday we will begin an adult learning study on How Lutherans Interpret the Bible. Please join us in the fellowship hall following the potluck.
  • Woman’s Bible Study: The next session will be on Friday, Oct. 6, in the Fellowship Hall with a study of the parables of Jesus lead by Carol Smith. All are welcome.
  • Blessing of the Animals: Heads up all animal lovers! We will be having the blessing of the Animals at 10 a.m. on Oct. 7 at 10 am. On the lower-level lawn by the Fellowship Hall. We are looking for fellow animal lovers to assist and bring treats for pets and people alike, please contact Vicar Lisa.
  • Zion's 135th Anniversary: The 135th anniversary was a great success. The fellowship hall was decorated beautifully, thank you to Paula Little, Elaine Trujillo, Cherie Holder, Kathy Broman, Julie Wersal, John Rygiel, Carol Schulzkump, Kathy Nicolai, and JoAnn Karspeck. Special thanks to Bill Winter who grilled all the hot dogs and burgers and my God bless all of those who prepared and brought additional food items. The musical talent we had was amazing. Thanks to the Montoya’s, Melodie Lanosga, and Vinnie Gumlich for leading.
  • Now Available: Copies of the October-December Portals of Prayer are available in the back of the sanctuary and in the Fellowship Hall. Large print copies of Portals of Prayer are on the table in the Fellowship Hall.
  • Flower Sign Up: There still are Sundays in 2023 available for flower dedications. The recommended minimum donation is $35, and the work of our flower guild is lovely. You can keep the flowers or donate them. The flower guild divides the donated bouquet into nosegays for nursing homes and for the homebound.

E-formation – 18th Sunday after Pentecost Oct. 1

During these standard Sundays we continue to read through Matthew, now illumined by Philippians, and interpreted in light of holy communion. The gospel reading for this coming Sunday includes a short parable for all of us who have sometimes said No to God, and then later regretted it. Come to worship, to hear about God’s welcome to us and to receive that welcome at the table of holy communion.

Matthew 21:23-32

Why do we preach and follow Christ? According to today’s gospel, we have seen in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ the will of God; in believing in Jesus as the Word of God, we enter God’s “kingdom,” that is, we participate in the life God offers. From the first century on, Christians have debated about what precisely is “the will of his father.” Preaching on Sunday has been a primary method for exploring the will of God.

Ezekiel 18:1-4, 25-32

This excerpt is assigned as the first reading to emphasize God’s desire for our repentance. The good news from Ezekiel is that God wants us to live. For Christians, the “new heart and new spirit” that God promises comes through baptism into Christ.

Philippians 2:1-13

This important excerpt, appointed each year on the Sunday of the Passion, includes the early Christian affirmation of Jesus as Lord, in this context meaning Divine Authority. Thus, the hymn ties in well with today’s gospel. The paradox of the faith is that we see the will of God of which Matthew wrote in Jesus’ death on a cross. “Fear and trembling” is a phrase made famous in theology because of the anguished writings of Søren Kierkegaard; yet Paul concludes the phrase with his confidence in God’s good pleasure.

 

Zion's Lutheran Church

zionsluth@gmail.com

719-846-7785