Forgive Us and Transform Us…
By Pr. Lisa Rygiel
The ELCA has just recently released a book entitled Forgive Us and Transform Us for the Life of the World. This book was written as the church begins an ongoing process of confession and repentance for the sins of patriarchy and sexism. The book contains some very touching personal stories written by different individuals. We will be sharing some of those stories in the following weeks. The first is entitled, My First Funeral.
“We’d prefer a male pastor,” said the woman on the phone. I sighed (on the inside) because this was for a funeral and grieving people need support. “My brother was a ‘man’s man,’” she continued, “and he’d want a man to do his funeral.” I had never met the caller or her late brother; they had just a slight connection to our congregation.
“Isn’t there a male pastor at your church?” the sister asked. “Yes,” I said. “He is on vacation. If you want the funeral here next week, it has to be me.” I listed nearby Lutheran congregations with male pastors. “No,” she said, “it has to be at this church. Can one of those male pastors lead the funeral at this church?” “No,” I said. “Well,” she said, with growing desperation, “can a male pastor just stand up next to you while you do the funeral?” “Definitely no,” I said.
Despite this rough beginning, I met with the family, led the funeral and accepted their genuine gratitude when it was all over. I never told them this was my first funeral.
I confess that I felt smug at my deft handling of this situation. I recited the tale to girlfriends, who groaned at the outrageous sexism of these people, so awash in patriarchy. I later realized that I had participated in the patriarchy of that situation, even as I outwardly protested it. I felt guilty when I said no. I was too apologetic, too eager to please the family to prove that I was just as good as a male pastor. I wanted so badly for them to like me. I worried that I wasn’t enough.
I see now how these tendencies continue today in my work, marriage, and child-rearing. I was married for years before I realized that when my husband has a bad day at work, it is not solely my responsibility to cheer him up. I still struggle with people-pleasing and over-apologizing.
This is why we must talk about the subtle instances of sexism and patriarchy, not just the glaring offenses. Part of me felt that I had checked some anti-patriarchy box at that funeral, but the work is ongoing. Our faith gives us humility to examine our own biases. Our faith also assures us that God dreams of a world where no one is silenced or devalued and where all are recognized as beloved and created good.
—Lisa A. Smith
Nov. 11 -- 22nd Sunday after Pentecost
10 a.m. Sunday Worship
Announcements
E-formation
To our many questions about what the afterlife will be like, in the gospel for this coming Sunday Jesus speaks about the Lord as the God of the living. All believers, those alive and those dead, are alive in God. Come to worship, to receive this good news.
Luke 20:27-38
The Sadducees meant to ridicule speculation about an afterlife. However, even this passage has served to feed Christian imagination about an angelic existence in the afterlife. The New Testament describes Jesus Christ as the first to experience resurrection, and believers continue to hope that the God of the living will be their God even after death. The New Testament proclaims the resurrection of the body, not the immortal soul that is currently believed by many Christians and affirmed by many clergy. Attention to the end of all things is fitting at the close of each liturgical year.
Job 19:23-27a
This passage is the section in Job most quoted by Christians since, when interpreted literally, it indicates a bodily life after death: “at the last” Job will “see” God. Thus, the lectionary sets it next to Luke’s discussion of the afterlife. To God, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Job are alive, and Christians expect the same for all believers.
2 Thessalonians 2:1-5, 13-17
Humans are perennially fascinated with speculation about the end of the world. Christians have come to connect this description of “the lawless one” with the Johannine “antichrist” (1 John 2:18, 22). Lutherans can think of the evils of the end time as law, that is, the harsh truths of human existence, and the second half of the reading as gospel: God has chosen us, we are saved, we are made holy by the Spirit, we will share the glory of Christ, we are loved by God, we are comforted and strengthened by God’s word.
Zion's Lutheran Church
A Reconciling in Christ Community
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